tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36343919140681706942024-03-05T05:03:51.244-08:00Forgiving the FantasyThis blog is intended to assist anyone who has questions about life, wants to become more still to experience more life, or anyone who is on their spiritual journey towards wholeness and happiness and may need a little push.
I don't intend to state or suggest that I have all the answers because I don't. The answer is always found in the individual and I hope that I can help you to look within and find your own answers by perhaps helping you io discover the right question.
I am NazeelahAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09466219878561551047noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634391914068170694.post-44766975191319767662012-06-24T08:56:00.002-07:002012-06-24T08:56:07.578-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Read more: http://www.ashtarcommandcrew.net/page/link-to-ashtar-command#ixzz1yj7N4IlLAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09466219878561551047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634391914068170694.post-45890572087082067612012-05-07T20:47:00.002-07:002012-05-07T20:55:06.533-07:00Real Love Is Only What You Give<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
This article/blog is written by Sheryl Paul.<br />
<br />
<i>Sheryl Paul, M.A., has counseled thousands of people worldwide
through her private practice, her bestselling books, her Home Study
Programs and her websites. She has appeared several times on "The Oprah
Winfrey Show", as well as on "Good Morning America" and other top media
shows and publications around the globe. To sign up for her free 78-page
eBook, "Conscious Transitions: The 7 Most Common (and Traumatic) Life
Changes", visit her website at <a href="http://conscious-transitions.com/" target="_hplink">http://conscious-transitions.com.</a></i> <br />
<br />
I don't recall how I first stumbled upon <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Recipes-Perfect-Marriage-Morag-Prunty/dp/1401308872/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1326414596&sr=1-1" target="_hplink">Recipes for a Perfect Marriage</a></i> by Morag Prunty, but most likely it came from a recommendation from a member of the <a href="http://conscious-transitions.com/conscious-weddings-e-course/" target="_hplink">Conscious Weddings message board</a>.
I remember intially feeling put-off by the title as anything that
contains the word "perfect", especially in connection to weddings or
marriage, produces an immediate allergic reaction in my psyche. But
because I trust my wise and thoughtful audience, I purchased the book
and was stunned to find the words that I espouse to my clients every day
transposed into a rich and meaningful novel.<br />
I recently re-read the book to make sure that it has withstood my ever-evolving <a href="http://conscious-transitions.com/real-love-versus-infatuation/" target="_hplink">understanding of real love</a>
and marriage. My 2011 review: it's nothing short of brilliant. It's the
only novel I'm aware of that presents an authentic, realistic window
into what it means to love and be loved. It's the antidote to every
romantic novel and film you've ever ingested -- from <i>Wuthering Heights</i> to <i>Jerry Maguire</i> ("you complete me") -- and is a must-read for anyone struggling with doubts, questions, and concerns about their partner.<br />
Its passages, like the following, can help you evolve your
understanding of love and help you open your heart to the good man or
woman that stands before you:<br />
<blockquote>
"What my marriage taught me is that real love is only what
you give. That's all. Love is not "out there," waiting for you. It is in
you. In your own heart, in what you are willing to give of it. We are
all capable of love, but few of us have the courage to do it properly.
You can take a person's love and waste it. But you are the fool. When
you give love, it grows and flowers inside you like a carefully pruned
rose. Love is joy. Those who love, no matter what indignities, what
burdens they carry, are always full of joy."
- from Recipes for a Perfect Marriage, p. 281</blockquote>
When people find my work it's often because they're on the threshold
of leaving a great relationship. They're about to get engaged or married
and are consumed with the question of, <a href="http://conscious-transitions.com/conscious-weddings-e-course/" target="_hplink">"Do I love him/her enough?"</a>
They've exhausted the Internet searching for an answer to their
anxiety-provoking question and when they dare broach the topic with
friends or family they're usually met with, "Doubt means don't." Since
they intuitively know that this is faulty advice, they keep searching
until they find their way, sleep-deprived, malnourished, and barely
functioning, to my virtual doorstep.<br />
Their stories follow those of the characters in <i>Recipes of a Perfect Marriage</i>:
They're engaged to a wonderful man (or woman) but the feeling of love
has withered. In its place they find themselves dreaming of passionate
exes and wondering if they're making a mistake. While they're consumed
with finding an answer to their question ("Is this the right choice?"),
the relationship trudges along, held up by a steadfast partner who isn't
bedraggled by the same anxiety. "This shouldn't be so hard," I hear
daily. "If I was with the right person, it would be easier than this."
An understandable argument, but not one that holds water in my office.<br />
What's happening here? We're seeing the effects of someone raised in a
culture that is addicted to love. We chase after it with the same
misguided impulse that creates addictions to alcohol, drugs, caffeine,
cigarettes, sugar, television, the Internet, and spending: as a way to
avoid taking responsibility for our wholeness and as a temporary way to
fill the emptiness.<br />
In the early stages of a relationship, you may experience a rush of
love. We call this feeling being in love, but it's really more of <a href="http://conscious-transitions.com/real-love-versus-infatuation/" target="_hplink">an adolescent state of infatuation</a>.
The love-drug may last two months or, in rare cases, two years, but
eventually it wears off. It's at this point that the task of learning
about real love begins. But it's also at this point that most people,
brainwashed by our dysfunctional cultural conditioning, mistakenly
assume that because the love feeling has dissipated, this means they
don't love their partner anymore. They often leave only to find
themselves in the exact same boat with the next partner.<br />
All of this is predicated on the belief that love is something you
get from another person: a feeling, an experience, a transfusion of
aliveness and joy. Our culture transmits the insidious rescue fantasy
that says, "If you find the right person (also known as The One or your
soulmate), your pain will disappear and you'll live happily ever after."
To put it bluntly, our culture encourages you to be love-addicted. We
may have waged a war on drugs but we havent even begun to dismantle the
rampant addiction to love that seeps into every crack of mainstream
culture.<br />
The antidote? Learning to become the source of your own aliveness and
committing to taking 100 percent responsibility for your pain and joy.
It's about learning to fill yourself up through your creative
expression, your connection to Spirit and your commitment to giving to
others. <br />
For today, I invite you to set your intention to give: give to
yourself first. Sit with yourself and, with an intention to accept and
embrace, attend to the grief, loneliness, anxiety, fear, heartache, joy,
and excitement that may be coursing through you. <a href="http://conscious-transitions.com/take-care-of-your-anxiety-like-a-scared-child/" target="_hplink">Imagine that you have a young child sitting beside you, desperately needing your undivided, devoted attention</a>.
Trust that you have everything is takes to fill her up, that, in fact,
you're the only one who can fill her up. And from that place of
wholeness, give from the fullness of your heart, give without strings
attached, give for the pure and fulfilling pleasure of giving. Give even
when fear is telling you to run. See what it feels like to make the
choice to swing open the doors of your heart as wide as they will open
without restriction, fear or judgement, and let the love pour out and
into the one who has been waiting, steady and with patience, to receive
you.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09466219878561551047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634391914068170694.post-62632759134213051442012-05-07T19:57:00.001-07:002012-05-07T20:59:16.054-07:00What is Love?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<br />
We live under a massive cultural delusion about<a href="http://conscious-transitions.com/real-love-versus-infatuation/" target="_hplink"> the nature of real love</a>.
Propagated by mainstream media, from the time you're born you're
inundated with the belief that love is a feeling and that when you find
"the one" you'll sense it in your gut and be overcome by an <a href="http://conscious-transitions.com/conscious-weddings-e-course/" target="_hplink">undeniable sense of knowing.</a>
When the feeling and corresponding knowing fade (for the knowing is
intimately linked to the feeling) and the work of learning about real
love begins, most people take the diminished feeling as a sign that
they're in the wrong relationship and walk away. And then they start
over again, only to find that the now-familiar knowing and feeling fade
again... and again... and again.<br />
If love isn't a feeling, what is it? <br />
Love is action. Love is tolerance. Love is learning your partner's
love language and then expressing love in a way that he can receive.<a href="http://conscious-transitions.com/real-love-is-only-what-you-give/" target="_hplink"> Love is giving.</a>
Love is receiving. Love is plodding through the slow eddies of a
relationship without jumping ship into another's churning rapids. Love
is recognizing that it's not your partner's job to make you feel alive,
fulfilled, or complete; that's your job. And it's only when you learn to
become the source of your own aliveness and are living your life
connected to the spark of genius that is everyone's birthright can you
fully love another.<br />
Although it's nearly impossible to capture this elusive word into a single definition, M. Scott Peck says it poignantly in <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Road-Less-Traveled-Anniversary-Edition/dp/0743243153/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1335198517&sr=1-1" target="_hplink">The Road Less Traveled</a>:<br />
<blockquote>
Love is as love does. Love is an act of will -- namely,
both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not
have to love. We choose to love.
By stating that it is when a couple falls out of love that they may
begin to really love I am also implying that real love does not have its
roots in a feeling of love. To the contrary, real love often occurs in a
context in which the feeling of love is lacking, when we act lovingly
despite the fact that we don't feel loving.</blockquote>
And as my favorite fiction writer on real love, Kate Kerrigan (author of a must-read for every engaged and newlywed couple, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Recipes-Perfect-Marriage-Kate-Kerrigan/dp/1447213122/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1334313979&sr=1-2" target="_hplink">"Recipes for a Perfect Marriage"</a>), writes in her fabulous essay, <a href="http://katekerriganauthor.tumblr.com/post/21014509601/marriage-myths" target="_hplink">Marriage Myths</a>:<br />
<blockquote>
You don't have to encourage it, or welcome it, but you
better learn to suck it up from time to time. We have mythologized love
to such an extent that people are no longer prepared for the realities
of long-term relationships. We are taught that it is good not to
compromise, not to put up with anything we don't like, not to sacrifice
our own beliefs for anyone or anything. Yet compromise and sacrifice are
the cornerstones of marital love.
No matter what way you dress it up, the best thing you can bring to a
marriage is not the feeling of 'being in love', but romance's poor
relation: tolerance. Add to that enough maturity to be able to fulfil
your own needs and you have some hope. Optimism and chemistry, which
seem to be the bedrock of the modern marriage, just don't cut it, folks.
And while I am pontificating, one more tip for the ladies: Try to find a
man who has that most underrated of qualities: character. I did and so
far my Oscar hasn't bothered him. Although I am still waiting for my
cooked breakfast...</blockquote>
Sound pessimistic? It's reality, not a welcome word in a culture
addicted to fantasy. But here's the good news: when the initial
infatuation feeling fades and you do the real work of learning how to
love and be loved, something infinitely richer and sustaining than
flimsy infatuation flowers in the garden of your marriage. Over time,
these plants grow roots that are sturdy and strong. They are nourished
by soil that is well-worked as you've sat beside each other and yanked
out the weeds of intolerance, impatience, frustration, and fear. It's
work that can and must be cultivated over a lifetime, and yet we expect
to enter marriage with a perfect, rose-filled garden. Again, this is the
fantasy that our culture propagates and throws many young people into
despair when their fledging relationship fails to measure up to these
unrealistic and damaging expectations.<br />
If you're in a fulfilling, long-term marriage, you know what I mean
and I'm preaching to the choir. But for the women and men who I work
with every day <a href="http://conscious-transitions.com/counseling/" target="_hplink">in counseling</a>,
it's a crushing moment when the infatuation drug wears off and they're
left to begin the real work of loving. And it's even more devastating
when this happens during their engagement, a time our culture hammers
into their head as the happiest in their life. It's time to send a
different message to young people about the difference between
infatuation and love. If we're going to restore marriage to a place of
honor and respect, we must teach that the role of one's partner is not
to save you from yourself and make you feel alive, fulfilled, and
complete; only you can do that. It's time to teach a different message.
Let's begin the conversation here.<br />
<i>Sheryl Paul, M.A., has counseled thousands of people worldwide
through her private practice, her bestselling books, her Home Study
Programs and her websites. She has appeared several times on "The Oprah
Winfrey Show", as well as on "Good Morning America" and other top media
shows and publications around the globe. To sign up for her free 78-page
eBook, "Conscious Transitions: The 7 Most Common (and Traumatic) Life
Changes", visit her website at <a href="http://conscious-transitions.com/" target="_hplink">http://conscious-transitions.com. </a></i></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09466219878561551047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634391914068170694.post-18487820530308507952011-12-08T08:41:00.001-08:002012-05-07T21:01:44.417-07:00When Women Rise the World will Heal<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: 'Cherry Cream Soda',serif; font-size: 12pt;">Many
women are struggling in relationships due to the many faces of emotional fear
found in relationships based on generational fantasies. If you
believe you should be treated a certain way such as a Queen or Princess, you
are living in a fantasy. You are a Queen Goddess and do not need
nothing or anyone outside of you to treat you a certain way for you are who you
are. It is your responsibility to treat yourself well and with
respect. When you do your world will reflect what you believe about
yourself and others based on mutual respect.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Cherry Cream Soda',serif; font-size: 12pt;">Forgiving
the Fantasy is about assisting you in self-discovery so you may align with your
soul’s purpose. By living your purpose you will discover what you
are here to accomplish in life. Through fulfilling your
accomplishments you will find the path that leads to your true
happiness. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Cherry Cream Soda',serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Cherry Cream Soda',serif; font-size: 12pt;">This is your responsibility, your life purpose is to heal
your inner world by facing your emotional wounds and learning the process of
detaching so you may become well and whole.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Cherry Cream Soda',serif; font-size: 12pt;">The
world has sold you a false identity through the fantasies found in ego
relationships. Relationship with the Divine (the God in you) is the
ultimate relationship your soul seeks. When this relationship
is not in the equation you suffer from ego fantasies and do not fulfill your life
purpose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Cherry Cream Soda',serif; font-size: 12pt;">Many
times men are sent to us to transform us but all to often we miss the signs and don't get the messages due to misperceptions clouded by traditions, myths and the presence
of emotional wounds from our past buried deep in the subconscious. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Cherry Cream Soda',serif; font-size: 12pt;">Women are the agents
for change and men are the catalyst given us for
transformation. When women rise to their rightful places in the
world and in relationships the world will heal.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Cherry Cream Soda',serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Cherry Cream Soda',serif; font-size: 12pt;">Some years ago I
received the message from my Inner Guide, "When Women Rise the World will
Heal." This message still resonates strongly within me. I am
on a mission to help women to rise to the occasion of self-healing and
self-empowerment.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Cherry Cream Soda',serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Love and Light,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Queen Goddess nazeelah</span><br />
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<b style="background-color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Be Yourself, Love Yourself</span></b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGksFjm0tfgdV0F-n__d_P3w36cV2Suvs84YIcTz0LsgSSNplUintiBB9DL2ELTZTlMjnhEyogBQuBEUc4uH6c4Ql75KqAkhVszG0huBJVu5g-MBU1O67VpmrsaRliWXspy5kd8Z6Jr8k5/s1600/24496_386186010431_260785055431_4178078_3718070_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGksFjm0tfgdV0F-n__d_P3w36cV2Suvs84YIcTz0LsgSSNplUintiBB9DL2ELTZTlMjnhEyogBQuBEUc4uH6c4Ql75KqAkhVszG0huBJVu5g-MBU1O67VpmrsaRliWXspy5kd8Z6Jr8k5/s1600/24496_386186010431_260785055431_4178078_3718070_n.jpg" /></a></div>
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